26th Nov 2008

I am enraged, worried, helpless and in deep pain. For my country..for Mumbai. I have never had any connection with Mumbai, but that doesn't matter. To see innocent lives taken away so easily, too see India losing its brave soldies and leaders in a flash is agonising. I am seas away from my country and all I can do is just watch the news channels. Even if I would have been in India, I don't know what difference it would have made. I wonder what made these terrorists like they are. Its been 36 hours now since the Mumbai was held hostage, when the humanity was destroyed. As the battle goes on between NSGs and the terrorists, all I can do is to pray to God, for His grace to be with the family of the victims, for peace.. for a better tomorrow. I sleep to awake in the hope of morning sun washing away the demons of 26th Nov.

I should be saying something !!

That's what I always thought whenever someone wished me good luck, and I just smiled back at them saying nothing. This was the scene till I was in 9th grade, I think. Sounds silly..but no one ever told me anything to say. Well you can argue, you observe people around you and learn social behavior. But in my defense, ...I just did not. I was very certain that something nice should be said back, but wasn't sure what it was. It was around the time of my final exams in my 9th grade when one of my father's family friend wished me good luck and I just smiled back, and there was a small pause as if saying...hey kid you got to say something. Then his wife said the same thing, making me more anxious. Later my sister scolded me for the misdemeanor. I asked, "What am I supposed to say". "THANK YOU !! You dumb head", she said. And I was blessed...

Hey bhagwaan..(Ohh..God)

Yes you guessed it right. This story is about how a dream made me realize how futile my life is as a PhD in US and directed me to move to the jungles of Somalia in search of The God 'hululoolu'. No that doesn't sound convincing.
Ok so what this is actually about is a shift in paradigm of peoples' ways of expressing themselves in certain circumstances. I realized it the first time when I was walking with my friend and he suddenly slipped on the ice and blurted out a bunch of exclamations. Now in earlier times if something of this sort ever happened the first words to come out were like 'hey Bhagwan' or 'hey Prabhu' or 'Jesus Christ' or 'oh God' and plenty of other such exclamations. But now the first thing you hear someone blurt out is like 'behan...' or 'ma...' or 'f..' .I don't know if I should conclude anything from this. Are they just cursing God to land them in that trouble or God has taken a completely different and modern form in their imaginations. Or they think that these kind of fu...rs are much more potent than God. Ok I think I should stop because the guy upstairs may be reading this and I am sure he won't be happy about it.

The order in chaos

Tornado warning issued for later in the day...its raining now..you come out of the office to be safe back home ..but the heavens is pelting water like missiles...what to do.. what to do..what the heck...its just water..anyway you didn't have shower today...you take your bike and go nowhere and everywhere...you are drenched ... no idea where you are heading..aah its awesome...you are a kid again..
You ride back to home when you see people playing soccer on a nearby field...you leave your bike and start playing soccer...you are playing when the phone rings...your friend calls you to join him at a bar...the day is getting better and better..
You are sitting at Ashleys enjoying Pilsner Urquell while sitting infront of you is this lovely and lively American/Russian girl talking sugar..and you listen...just listen...
Its past midnight and you return to your apartment...the night has been so great and the weather can't be better...its time to vent out..you pick your bike and go for venturing in the darkness...you are sitting on the bridge over Huron..thinking about something..when you decide to call a friend...
You are listening Ghazals on the lake side near your place with your friend when you see few Americans heading to the nearby pool..your friend and you take your clothes off and jump in the pool...
You are back to your place..its been a long eve..its almost dawn...I got to sleep...

अर्ज़ है....

क्यों झुकी हैं ये पलकें तेरी,
क्यों नहीं कुछ कहते ये लब तेरे,
क्यों करती है हम पर ज़ुल्म इतना,
क्यों नहीं होने देती हमें,
तेरी इस जां पे फना।

Revisiting Indian Cinema

"Kaanton se kheech ke ye aanchal ...tod ke bandhan bandhi paayal..." ...wow...its Wahida Rehman and our one and only Dev Anand saheb on the TV screen in the classic movie "Guide". And I must tell you...I am loving it. I had some faint remembrance of the climax of this movie as I watched it when I was a kid, but had no clue about the rest of the movie. And the same goes for most of the vintage movies. So I resolved to make a good use of the ample time I have this summer to take a dip in the old Indian cinema and this is the 2nd stop in the journey. The 1st being "Jaane bhee do yaaro"..which again was a pretty good movie..not to mention the hilarious mahabharata scene at the end of the movie. Thanks to Shapiro (UMICH Undergraduate library) for buying a huge collection of hindi classics.
The good thing about these old classics is that one really doesn't get bored of watching them. They have a story, the acting is unmatchable, and the songs are meaningful and melodious. So the next few stops in the journey are going to be Om Puri and Naseer bhai's "Aakrosh", Dev saheb's "C.I.D." and "Gambler", mystery and thriller flick "Khamosh", and Guru Dutt saheb's "Pyasa". Let me know if you want to join the trip. This summer is going to be painted with old but evergreen colors.

An amazing experience

There is some celebration going on there...for sure. I hear folk songs; see colorful lights; noise...lots of noise but not chaos, I think. I move slowly, dazed towards the source. I see children running in circles and singing. I see them jumping on one leg and laughing. Aah..that smells like hookaah. I see charpois (small beds to rest) lying outside a big house. Elderly are smoking hookah and taking rest. But the most amazing thing in this wonderful village, at this moment appears to be this house. Looks beautiful; magnificently lighted; ladies singing songs; dholak and ghunghroo can be distinctly heard.
Wow...so many people in the kitchen; so many sweets and they are making more. I try to go inside. "अरे आपको नहीं जाने दिया जायेगा। अभी बहुत रस्म बाकी हैं ( anyone but you can go inside. there are more rituals to go)". I simply obey them. I move on. I see lots of people sitting in a room on floor. They are talking about something. In the middle of the room I see a frail figure lying on a charpoi. As I move close he looks at me. He gives me a fatherly look, full of love and tenderness. He gets up and embraces me. I am speechless, moved. "कितना इंतज़ार किया बेटा तेरा. चल जा थोड़ा गाँव घूम ले (I waited for you so long. Go have a walk in the village)"
I find myself far from the house. But what do we have here ? This is unbelievable, amazingly wonderful. I see huge, colorful animals grazing around, huge birds flying. Totally unperturbed by each-others' presence. Am I in some pre-historic era ? How can such animals and humans live together. More I look at them, harder it is to believe this sight. I ask a bird "How come humans and you co-exist ? How is this possible ? "We all come with a purpose here. And thats the sole thing we should worry about". And I am awed and content with her answer. "Go back to your home" and she shows me a way. I simply obey her, mesmerized, and start walking. At each croos-road I meet someone who shows me the correct path. Everyone seemed to know me. How is that possible ?
I find myself in the same room again. But this time there is an old lady sitting beside him. I go and sit beside her. "मौसा जी की तबियत तो सही रहती है न ( Uncle's health is good.. rite) ?"। "अरे वो तेरे ताऊ हैं। बचपन मैं देखा था तुझे एक बार । उसके बाद आज देख रहे हैं । तुरंत पहचान लिया तुझे बहुत इंतज़ार किया तेरा। (He is your another uncle. Not whom you think him to be. He just saw you once when you were a baby. But still he recognized you today immediately. He waited for you so long) ". My uncle looks at me again. He is crying. I see so much love in those eyes. He puts his head on my chest as tears flow and holds me as I put my arms around him.
Everything is fading away. Whats happening ? I hear some noise. Its different from what I had heard till now. Its dark now...but I see something flashing. I see "Gulati calling" flashing in a corner. I don't feel good about it. But I continue to head in that direction.

ये विचित्र मनोभाव

कभी कभी सोचता हूँ तो चकित रह जाता हूँ कि ये इंसान भी क्या अनोखा है । हर मनुष्य प्यार करता है, ईर्ष्या करता है, लज्जित होता है , ग्लानिबध्ह होता है, दुखी होता है , सुखी होता है, कामुक होता है। आश्चर्य इस बात पर है कि यह सारे भाव यथार्थत सभी में होते हैं । बस किसी में कम तो किसी में अधिक। है कोई मनुष्य जो समझ ही ना सकता हो कि दुखी होने पर क्या बीतती है , या सुख का क्या आनंद होता है या लज्जित होने पर नयन क्यों झुक जाते हैं या प्रेम में कैसे ह्रदय झूम उठता है ? ऐसा प्रतीत होता है कि हम सब एक ही जड़ के अंश हैं । लेकिन यही सोचते सोचते मन में एक जिज्ञासा जाग उठती है । क्या ऐसे भी भाव हैं जिनसे हम अबतक अनभिज्ञ हैं ? इस जीवन में कभी ऐसी परिस्तिथियाँ आयी ही न हों की वह प्रकट हुए हों। साधू-संत कहते हैं कि भगवान् के दर्शन के बाद न कुछ देखने को रह जाता न कुछ इच्छा करने को। कैसा होता होगा वह छड़ जिसमें इंसान बेसुध होकर आनंद की लहरों में डुबकियां लगाते नहीं थकता। क्या मनुष्य की छीड़ बुद्धि उस दशा की कल्पना कर सकती है ? यह तो केवल एक उदाहरण है। और न जाने ऐसे कितने अकल्पनीय भाव होंगे जो हमसे अबतक अछूते हैं, संभवा जिनके बिना यह जीवन-अनुभूति अधूरी रह जाए।

Be your work....

".... if you want to do something well, whatever it may be, any kind of work, the least thing, play a game, write a book, do painting or music or run a race, anything at all, if you want to do it well, you must become what you are doing and not remain a small person looking at himself doing it; for if one looks at oneself acting, one is still in complicity with the ego. If, in oneself, if one succeeds in becoming what one does, it is a great progress. In the least little details, one must learn this. Take a very amusing instance: you want to fill a bottle from another bottle; you concentrate; well, as long as you are the bottle to be filled, the bottle, from which one pours, and the movement of pouring, as long as only you are this, all goes well. But if unfortunately you think at a given moment: " Ah it is going well, I am managing well", the next minute it spills over! It is the same for everything. That is why work is a good means of discipline, for if you want to do the work properly, you must become the work instead of someone who works, you will never do it well. ..."
-The Mother
You can follow this link to know about her http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mother

Race....a pre-review..no spoilers

I was watching this new Bollywood flick online when my cursed IE played trick on me and rite now I am in the process of waiting for buffer completion. That leaves me with some time to scribble here something about the movie.
So far so good...its a hit entertainer. Saif looks cool while Bipasha is as hot as my laptop..(its really hot), Katrina is cute and Akshay is so and so. Anil Kapoor and Sameera Reddy have just entered the scene and its good to see Sameera in a comic role. Its a good change. Generally actresses are not chosen for the comic roles and so far she has done well. What else...the movie has had few twists so far and is going at a good pace and as my dear room mate says there are going to be many more...so lets wait and see. I think its a good time-killer.

ख़ामोश रात.....

सहमी हवा,
तनहा तनहा दिल अपना,
और दूर कहीं रौशन हुआ,
एक चेहरा...
ये सच है या सपना

...A lovely song from Thakshak

New Year Trip .....

One third of the new year has already fleeted away and am still to reveal how I said good bye to the year that was and welcomed the new year. Boozing...and lots of boozing, thats how I would summarize it. Whether it was New york or Princeton, whether I was in bar or a night club or at home doing nothing or watching India tour Down under, I was drunk most of the time. Each night I used to wake up and say to myself .... I am not drinking again...but if you are with my drunkard room-mate, you shouldn't waste your breath for making such resolves. Being with my beloved and 'langotiya' friend Mishra, who is always ready to lose his senses, also didn't help.
Anyway, I also played and watched lot of cricket in Princeton. But the high point of tour was meeting this cute 'desi' girl in an NY club. Lets call her Pushpakali...thats very close to her real name. But whats in the name. I was looking for some one to talk to in the new year party all the time while my friends were busy grinding stuff ( you know what I mean). And then I met Pushpakali and we had a pretty good talk. I wouldn't go in much detail about how things ended on that front but lets assume that everyone went on to live happily ever after. Anyway, it was great to see the NY hotties completely trashed at the end of new year party. Some were crying, some were being carried by their friends and what not. I don't know why I had so much pleasure out of this, but whatever..it was fun.
So that was all words could explain. To live the experience you got to follow there links...

http://picasaweb.google.com/sheenu.prashant/Photos
http://picasaweb.google.com/sheenu.prashant/Pics_princeton
http://picasaweb.google.com/sheenu.prashant/NY_newYear200708

Next on the list : New year trip

My dear imaginary readers (and real ones too), after a really long gap next on list is the New year/Xmas trip I made to Princeton and NYC, which was a lot of fun and has lot of interesting and eye opening anecdotes. I will try to put it together before it escapes my short term memory...till then thy shall wait with bated breath..